Being witnessed vs. being consumed
Journal entry • Exploring visibility
I’ve been thinking about visibility lately, about what it means to be seen. I’ve quarreled with the idea of being seen for some time now. For most of that time, I chalked that tension up to being an introvert. I’d convinced myself that I was much more comfortable when I was behind the scenes or out of sight. In year 35, in the midst of an(other) earth-altering series of transitions, I’m not as convinced.
Thinking back to the moments and memories that made me feel invisible doesn’t feel good in my body. I remember the restlessness and premature seeds of resentment sprouting underneath my tendency to shrink or hide or make myself small. My spirit rejected what I had tried to convince myself was truth.
I’ve realized I don’t actually have a problem with being seen. I despise the sense of entitlement that comes with visibility. In this social media era, where everything is about instant gratification and consumption, that becomes a challenging position. I don’t want to be consumed. I want to be witnessed.
Consumption holds no regard or reverence for my humanity. It’s not about me as an autonomous being. It’s about what I can be or do or provide or perform for an audience—and how quickly, how often or how consistently I can be that. It’s the difference between feasting with someone and feasting on someone.
To be witnessed is to be reverenced and regarded without interruption or entitlement. The difference between marveling at the beauty of a fresh bloom, and plucking it from the soil. One action leaves room for growth; the other kills it.
—J. Rycheal, December 5, 2023
If you enjoyed this entry, you may also enjoy my latest podcast episode, “Somebody’s Watching Me,” about perception and visibility. Click the player below to listen and save on Spotify. You can also listen on to Prodigal Sun on Apple Podcasts.
I have a lot recently about this topic. Thank you creating a dictionary for the language I want to express. “I want to be witnessed not consumed.”
Really enjoyed this piece. As I understand myself more, and I recognize the messages I've been told about how being seen can hurt you, many of those tendrils stem from not wanting to just be consumed. From what we can produce, to other people's experience of us. Thanks for sharing this.